Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is a fabulous introduction to the notion that we can help create a more peaceful world by improving our ability to communicate effectively and compassionately. Rosenberg points out a disturbing fact: we have more words in our language with which to judge each other (and ourselves) than we do to express our emotions. By learning to feel and express our emotions with words, we become less likely to act aggressively from these same emotions. When we can honestly say, "I feel angry when you speak to me like that," we become more able to own our feelings and less likely to escalate the conflict through assumptions, accusations, and violence.


Like many other books I have read recently, this book helps us to understand that by really being present in the moment, we gain access to the ability to steer the course of the future. Typically, we are barely listening to the other, especially in conflict. Instead, we are preparing our rebuttal, mentally judging the other, chewing on the past, or worrying about the future.  This impedes our ability to be truly present for what is going on. The ironic thing is that once we get in the moment, our presence and attention is often all that is needed to de-escalate the conflict.


Rosenberg provides many entertaining and inspiring anecdotes to demonstrate the many ways one can use Non-Violent Communication. From conflicts in the Middle East and Central Africa to the classroom, from parenting to prisons to self-defense, NVC proves over and over that violence comes from lack of connection. Learning to facilitate that connection can decrease violence, increase compassion, and help people grow into more compassionate and community oriented lives.


I found this book inspiring and educational. Rosenberg helps me to see that we can help others heal just by how we move and communicate in the world. By modeling effective and compassionate communication, we can create more peace in our own lives, and help to create a less violent future for us all.


I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in connecting more deeply with the people in their lives. It is especially useful for people in positions of power, who can learn to act in a way that empowers and inspires others. Parents, educators, health care professionals, managers, mediators... really everyone could use a little help in communicating in a way that enriches life for us all.


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