The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions by Christopher K. Germer
Love says, "I am everything."
Wisdom says, "I am nothing."
Between these two my life flows.
~ Nisagradatta Maharaj
Our culture teaches us that happiness depends on external circumstances, but that is not really the case. In The Mindful Path to Self Compassion, Christopher K. Germer, PhD., states that 2/3 of people without chronic back pain display the same structural dysfunction as those experiencing pain. In another study, job satisfaction was found to be a predictor of developing low back pain. Buddhist psychology instead teaches that it is our relationship with our pain that is the problem, and that acceptance may be a more effective strategy than fighting against our troubles. "What we resist, persists."
Germer offers simple and effective strategies for changing our ingrained habits of resistance. Mindfulness meditation is neurological reprogramming that helps us cultivate a calmer and less reactive state. Since "Neurons that fire together, wire together," we can practice paying attention to what we are doing. This allows us to be more intentional in our lives on many levels. By practicing intentional attention in formal sitting practice, we can develop habits of mindfulness that can serve us in times of stress and difficulty.
Having meditated before, I was surprised to feel how different a consistent Metta practice could make me feel. Practicing being kind to myself has transformed my relationship with other people as well. I find myself more able to be present. Even better, I am remembering to judge myself less when I make mistakes, and to help stop others from beating themselves up as well. I think Germer said it very well: "Give yourself the attention you need so you don't need so much attention." This frees up our energy to be more present for others, and lets kindness move through us to do good work in the world. After all, "[t]ransforming relationships with others starts with us; it is an inside job."
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